Being Married

I love being married.  Absolutely and utterly, I love being together with Phillip and almost 22 years later, we are still so much in love.

**** not every day has been perfect, as any one who has been in a long term relationship or lived with another human being can confirm.  But I think we do great.  We have little moments, but nothing that has ever really been “a problem”.  The world has given us problems, but together we have worked through them.

Phillip is my best friend, my biggest supporter, the one who helps me put things in perspective, and holds me if I just need to feel small.  Together we laugh, cry, celebrate, and most importantly, we talk.   I think being great friends, who like each other and have common interests are what makes us as strong as we are.

I think talking to one another, more than anything else, keeps our relationship strong–we talk.  We call each other (truth–I call him obsessively, like a stalker, but he likes it) we talk throughout the day–to confirm plans, to give news, but usually just to say Hi and I love you.  In the evening, on the weekend or other less busy times, we talk about “stuff”, the way friends do–movies, music, world news, work, family, gardens, vacations, books, anything and everything.  I can’t get through a regular day without hearing his voice, even if its just for a moment or two.  On the days when we’ve not been able to be in touch, it feels so wrong, and I am out of sorts.  I love him so much, and I have to connect with him.  (PS: you can never say or hear “I love you” too many times!!!)

We play a lot!  This is another reason that our relationship works so well.  We are silly.  Usually its me being weird, and Phillip “pretending” he doesn’t like the games, but sometimes he surprises me and is silly and crazy himself.  There are inside jokes and little games and lots of fun.  We love Disney World and a host of silly things that keep a “child like” quality in both of our personalities, and this is always in our relationship too.  Having different, yet aligned interests and tastes in movies, books, activities gives us a lot of common ground to spend time and energy together. We have silly little inside jokes that make each day fun.  Even when I am down in the dumps, a little silly fun can always pull me up!!!

We touch all the time.  Not groping or pawing each other like we are in grade 11 (but hun,  if you want… we could…. y’know… make out….) No, but I can’t be near him without touching him.   That contact gives me security, makes me so happy.  Just to hold someone’s hand, to touch their shoulder, arm, knee–whatever is near, it grounds you and you know that its not just you–someone else loves you and is there for you. (plus he is very cuddly and you feel so safe when he hugs you)

Phillip means the  world to me.  We have been together for 22 years now, and I still want to see him, to kiss him, to tell him all about my day, to hear about his thoughts and feelings, to look him in the eye and tell him I love him more than words could ever say.  He is my best friend, my perfect match, the one who makes me happy and complete. I couldn’t survive a moment without him.