Your last meal

What would you choose for your last meal?

Now if you were on death row, you would know for sure that this was the last time you would eat, and could make a choice. It would still be hard– Greek?, Italian?, are you a steak person? or would you have fried chicken and mashed potatoes?

But what if you didn’t know what will be the last meal?  What if your ability to eat slowly faded away.  That’s what its been like for Joanne.

Because of the ALS, she has lost the ability to speak, swallow and control all those muscles in her face, neck and throat that we don’t even think about.  I can’t understand not being able to control my tongue, lips and throat muscles….. wow what a thing to deal with.

In the summer, she was still eating pasta, and soft things like egg salad etc. Through the fall, she had problems eating food, and began drinking a lot more meals: soups, chocolate milk, ensure and boost meal replacement drinks, juices.

What was the last thing she truly ate?  I don’t know.

Would you want to eat pureed food? (which is baby food– no matter how you try to dress it up).  I love meat: steak, pork chops, chicken, roast pork and beef, shrimp, etc.  But I WOULD NOT eat it pureed or liquified.  No shrimp scampi milkshakes for this girl!!!  Mushy sweet potatoes, maybe…. but salad??? NO Way!!

In the last few weeks, even the thick liquids are too much.  Ensure, chocolate milk and iced coffee are all too hard to drink.  So Joanne is down to Gatorade, ginger ale and water.

(Inappropriate Side Note— I did offer Joanne to publicize her “Gingerale Diet”  –I lost weight, ask me how!!!  She laughed (which was the point) but as anyone under serious stress knows, sometimes being stupid is the only solution to a stupid situation!!!)

She didn’t get a chance to have 5 Guys Burger or KFC or any other yummy for her last meal.  Joanne is a FOODIE!  She has spent her life going to the best restaurants everywhere she travelled.  I know she was thrilled when my Uncle and Aunt’s AMAZING French restaurant in Siesta Key (www.miguelsrestaurant.net) served Dover Sole table side.  (I don’t know why that is such a thrill, but apparently nobody does that anymore!!  BTW, Miguel’s also makes an AMAZING Ceaser salad table-side, and the flaming desserts– Cherries Jubilee or Banana’s Foster– well you have to try them!– My cousins Dan and Gabe run the restaurant now.  Seriously, if you are anywhere near Sarasota FL, check it out!)

So, no matter how crappy my lunch is, or how boring a dinner might be, I am going to enjoy it as much as possible.  Its sounds cliché, but you never know if it might be your last.

Dinner

Here it is, the end of a work day, and there is a window of time before our evening activities begin…… What should I make for dinner???????

Now I love to eat! If you know me, you know that. I do like cooking, but sometimes the hardest part of FOOD in general, is the thinking about it.  I do the groceries, I almost always plan the week’s meals, i take the frozen meat out of the freezer and I do a lot of the cooking.  It is too much thinking For one little brain.

Even if someone else cooks, I am always involved! I have received many phone calls like:

where is the garlic powder???  (I don’t know, I’m at work! Look for it)

I would have started something, but I didn’t know what we have. (so open the fridge/freezer-just like I will do when I get home from work!)

I see it says chicken on the meal plan, what should I do with it? (cook it for Pete’s sake! As the chef-you choose! Bread it, roast it, put it in spaghetti sauce, make butter chicken, make a stir fry – the only thing I don’t want is raw chicken!  AND I won’t complain about your choice, because I didn’t have to think!)

Oh, and putting meatloaf in the oven is a GREAT start, but meatloaf alone is not dinner! What about veggies, or a salad, or potatoes……. And its me again pulling itall together!

Seriously, I think some days,  jail might be an okay place because your meals are provided and your  laundry is done!

Things that I would rather be doing……

Right now, I am trying to get my class to clean up after an explosive art project  (Surrealism!!!!  It’s not just for crazy spanish guys anymore!!!!!)

With  less than a week until March Break, I am thinking of a number of things I would rather do than be here at work….

• Be at the Gulf of Mexico (Tampa Bay area).  I know that there might be beaches that you like better, but I love the Gulf around St. Pete’s Beach. It was our “cottage” for so many years and I just love the sound of the water, and the feel of the breeze on my face.  I love the sand, and will not let the van be vacuumed out during the winter.  Just thinking about sunset on the beach helps my heart-rate to go down.
• I would rather be at my mom’s kitchen table.  Having a cup of tea with her (usually while she is busy getting a yummy dinner ready) is the greatest!!!!  It’s like being a little kid, and having a best friend who knows you so well all at the same time.
• I would rather be sleeping outside. (not today in the mud of course) but on a very warm early summer day.  Sleeping on a blanket, in the park, under a tree is AMAZING!!!  The fresh air, the sounds of the people and birds.  The rustle of the leaves in the trees–all great.  (Camping–not good, naps–great!!!)
• I would rather be in Walt Disney World.  Of course–if you know me, you know that WDW will come up sooner or later.  Today, I would like to be sitting on the TTA –riding around Tomorrowland, or on Soarin’ or sitting across from the bathrooms near Norway (in Epcot) just people watching and waiting (with my schoolbread) for Illuminations to start.
• I would rather be at the Museum of Civilization in Ottawa.  That place ROCKS!!!!  And last March Break, we only got to see about a third of it.    It is so amazing.  If I lived in Ottawa, I would buy a membership to the museum.
• I would rather be doing anything silly with Megan. She has a laugh that is infectious.  You can’t help but be in a good mood when she wants you too!!!  Perhaps grocery shopping with Megan and JL??????
• I would love to be at Canelli’s with Violaine and Matt.  Good food, great friends!!!!
• I would like to be at the dentist IF, (and only if) they would rock the chair back, turn up the happy gas, and leave me alone for half an hour!!!!

So, there are a couple of ideas I had, which would be better than being at school.  I love my job, and my kids are a really great group, but I would like to be so many other places!!!!!!  Take me away!!!!!!

My summer, so far

Two weeks without a post–I know I am sorry.  I have already been put in my place by my #1 Fan. So to her, and to you all–I apologize.

What have I been doing???  I will tell you some highlights.  I have gone to a BlueJays game,  Note that this is #19 –the Shortstop–MarcoScutaro    Jeremy went to driving school and I helped Megan buy a new camera before her 3 week trip to Ireland.   On Canada Day we went to mom and dad’s–’cause its what we do.  Phillip and I took Nan to the hospital.  Phillip files his EI claim, we went to the Beaches for a day and had pie in this cut little cafe, cute until we realized that all the pies have a layer of almonds (phillip is allergic), but all was well.  We did gardening outside. Since EQAO marking was out by the airport, I stayed with mom and dad for almost a week.  Meals were cooked for me and we watched “SPACE”.  My aunt was featured in the Toronto Outdoor Art Exhibition, so we went to Nathan Phillips Square to see her.  We wanted to steal two tiny Shi-tzu puppies in the stor, but we didn’t.  The next nan visit I was at, was the fastest EVER!!  Our lawn mower broke and the only place that will fix black and decker is in Toronto,  at this tiny, little repair shop like you’d see in the movies or in a Stephen King novel–so cool.  We visited the CN Tower with my cousin Gabe and his girlfriend Katie–both visiting from Florida.  I love my cousin of course, but Katie was great–and we share common interests like photographing  graffiti, and checking out the fixtures in all bathrooms.   Phillip and I spend hours talking to a NEW DISNEY CONVERT, a former co-worker who will be a current co-worker soon, just came back from a disney trip with her daughter and LOVED it.  She said to me “I get it, I know why you go back”.  Woo hoo, got another one.

That is all the photos to share (although there are more), and there have been many wonderful things not mentioned–dinners at the Tin Mill, and the Keg, visits with friends from St James, from high school, watching movies outside with best friends, baseball games in the park (just watching, not playing).  Visiting friends, adn seeing where they will be getting married (and where I am taking photos)

Now I have to get ready for a busy few days before our trip to Florida.  I promise to share more with you.

 

On a nice day …..

Hmmm  well today,

• I pulled out all of my photos that are printed/framed for the ARTFEST (Still need Megan to tell me what to bring)
• I cleaned the van (still not vacuumed, but hey)
• did a ton of gardening (with Jeremy’s help) –weeds pulled, grass cut front and back
• went to Walmart– $80 for damn printer ink
• printed a couple  more photos for a “Portrait” album
• hung a load of laundry up
• defrosted shrimp
• showered

Now I have to make dinner before we go and see a play tonight!  All in all a good day!!!!

Weird Food Choices

Everyone has their own tastes and opinions about food and what is good or not.  I was thinking about some of the things that I like, or don’t like which people have made comment on.

• peeps-  Y’know those neon yellow marshmallow chickens at Easter time.  I have actually consumed Hallowe’en, Christmas, Valentine and 4th of July holiday peeps
• actually most marshmallow things–I love marshmallow strawberries, bananas and those little ice cream cones filled with marshmallow.
• Cereal with marshmallow or other “kid” cereals– Love Lucky Charms, Reese’ PB cereal, anything that changes the milk another colour.
• I love icing!!!  Birthday cake is only a vehicle for icing, I like the corner and the flower.  NO ICE CREAM–yuck.  Ice cream should never, ever touch birthday cake.
• Grossest foods to me: green pepper, olives (of any colour), grapefruit, rhubarb, candied fruit in sweets–These are yukky yukky nasty things.  ( oh yeah, and green relish–this is the devil’s condiment.  Don’t eat it and DON’T PUT IT IN MY TUNA SALAD)
• I NEVER use black pepper on anything–its nasty.
• I will eat frozen corn right out of the pot as soon as you grab it out of the freezer.  (Yup its still cold and frosty)
• I will eat raw potato out of the pot too, before the water even starts to heat up.
• I like macaroni and cheese meat sandwiches, on white bread with ketchup.
• Hamburgers and hot dogs are always dressed with KETCHUP ONLY.  (sometimes I branch out and have ketchup and lettuce on a burger, but only when I’m feeling crazy)
• Frozen Oreos are the way to go!
• I can’t eat a lot of fruits because of TEXTURE issues– pears are grainy, peaches have fuzz, bananas are mushy, oranges have all those membranes and that nasty white stuff–yuck, blueberries pop in your mouth, raspberries are okay, apples I can manage about half before the “gack” feeling comes in the back of my throat.  I can eat all of these items either canned or cooked.  (Blueberries in oatmeal or pancakes, bananas in a milkshake in the blender,  applesauce–much better)
• I have found some foods that I used to think were too weird to eat, and now I like them: Triscit Crackers, Sweet Potatoes, Pralines

Exercise Sucks

really, I don’t need to blog about how much exercise sucks–you already know.

Unless you are one of those abnormal “oh I get such a high from working out”-freaks, you know that sitting on the couch with a bag of chips is way better than exercise.

But, I really have to–I’ve said this a number of times, but (Heaven help me) I REALLY need to do it!!!  I am 36 years old and very overweight (but I have a good personality). 

It struck me like a blow in the gut that type II diabetes, heart attacks and strokes are in my future.  Phillip is at risk already and together we are endangering Jeremy (well, he’s already in trouble, too) 

So, for the good of all of us, we need to get moving!!!  Today at lunch I walked (briskly!!!) for 20-25 min.  And It almost killed me.  You know the way eating brussel sprouts or spinach kills–you know there is some good in it, but for all the tea in China–it so hard to see the good while you are in the moment.  (Yesterday I DID NOT eat a donut during treat day–you’ve gotta start somewhere)

So, if you have any tips, hints, words of encouragement or a magic potion, please let me know.  If you have the ultimate brownie receipe (without nuts) (sigh) you will have to keep it to yourself!!!!

Amanda is my prep-time bitch!!!!

Preptime isn’t the same this year without my friend amanda.  She knew that sometimes prep is about getting work done.  And sometimes its for making photocopies for the next class.  But mostly she knew that Prep time is about wandering around, bugging people and eating the rest of the treats on treat day, when everyone else is back in class. 

She’s now at a different school, and my prep time is lonely.  Other people actually work during this time, and they don’t want to chat.  Also, no one comes and steals candy out of my room.  I miss amanda.

The staff at my school are wonderful and I really like them, but there is a different feeling this year.  Its funny how much effect one person can have.  I hope Amanda is doing well at her new school, and finding buddies to do nothing with instead of work.  I hope her new school respects Amanda’s position of queen of the GOOGLE!! I also hope that she remembers all the children sent back to their desks. (hee hee)

Amanda is a fantastic teacher, and a good friend!  I miss her every day.